16 Things I Experienced As A Half–Sibling

blog halfsiblingSo I fell upon a post of “16 Things Only Half–Siblings Understand” on BuzzFeed by Leona Epstien. While I wish growing up this was actually the cookie cutter for me during childhood, it was the actual opposite. I totally think that if “ALL” half-siblings can learn to be this way like the post–it would totally be amazing 🙂 But lets face it, not everyone can get along in LIFE.

Before I begin here’s a little background. My mother married and had 4 children in her first marriage 2 boys 2 girls. Then years later she divorced and remarried and I was born. The youngest of her 4 children was my half-sister who’s about 20-something years older then I. All I know is that when my parents started dating she was a young teen along with her older brothers and sister. Naturally, at that age you can’t really understand why your parents would leave each other for another person. As children we believe in the traditional two parent household, but again LIFE just happens.

My “understanding” or should I say experience with having half-siblings was mostly with the youngest half-sister because she pretty much stayed home till she got married in her mid to late 30s. Which as Americanized as I am (came to U.S. when I was 5 now in my mid 30s)…well was a big no-no because in my view at 18 years of age or by early 20s you need to leave home and be an adult. But I am a Latina and therefore I understand my culture and why it’s is not seen as a bad thing. Well the next 16 things listed below are based on growing with my youngest half-sister and the drama that came with it. I know for a fact that she never liked that I was born because I took her attention and spotlight. Like with her other siblings, I am simply seen as the child from the “other man that took their mother from their father”.

So here are my responses. I think you will learn more then you expected about me today.

1. BuzzFeed: You may have a considerably large age gap

True. There is a considerably large age gap in mine. I am in my 30s and the youngest of my mothers first marriage is in her early 50s (or possibly just turned 50) and if I am correct the oldest iiiiiiiis early to mid 60s? Yea I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure she’s not 70 (my mother had me at 42–so she really thought she had menopause–surprise! She was prego!)

2. BuzzFeed: And if you have a large age difference, sometimes people make the uncomfortable mistake of thinking you’re a parent to your little half-sibs.

Not really. But what is uncomfortable is when my eldest half-sister son (my nephew) is older than I, lol. Very uncomfortable, when we hung out with his friends. He was in High School, and I barely just getting out of Middle School. Instead we opted-out to saying we were cousins.

3. BuzzFeed: You and your half-sib might look very different.

Toooootally, with the combination of my mother’s beauty and my dads’ greats looks. Yea I’m wrong, but it’s the truth.

4. BuzzFeed: You may even be different races.

Well….no we are all Latinos. But while they are all of lighter complexion and I darker–people tend to mistake me for Hindi. (I’ve learned to accept that comment)

5. BuzzFeed: But you love it when people think you two really DO look alike!

Excuse my bluntness….HELLs NO, thank Goodness that never happened or ever will.

6. BuzzFeed: And you always feel beyond excited when people ask out of the blue, “Are you two sisters/brothers?”

False, me: that’s my half-sister or half-brother. Other person: yea your brother/sister. Me: NOoo my half-sibling. Other person: But you have the same Mom. Me: Yea-so, still my half-sister or half-brother…I can keep going if you like.

7. BuzzFeed: You feel beyond annoyed when explaining your family structure, and someone says, “Oh, so you’re only half-sisters.”

False, I like to make it a point that the only relation between my half-siblings is due to our mother and that’s–that. So not annoyed, I need you to make sure you understand we are half-siblings–cause I’m total opposite of them.

8. BuzzFeed: And then people don’t understand why you WOULDN’T just always label your sib as your HALF-SIBLING.

No. Actually people don’t understand why I wouldn’t call them my sibling, since we have the same mother ‘anyway’.

9. BuzzFeed: There is no word for the parent you don’t share.

Actually I got plenty. For the other parent, “Wife Beater, Drunk, Lady’s Man, let me knock your teeth out”. I can only imagine what they name mine.

10. BuzzFeed: And if you grew up in a household with the parent of your half-sibling that you don’t share, you may still feel related to that parent.

HA! That’s funny are you Nutz!!

11. BuzzFeed: The first question people ask after finding out you’re half-siblings is, “Same mother or same father?” True.

12. BuzzFeed: Dealing with the fact that your half-sib might have a full-sibling. And like, does that make you something less?

Ugh no way! I know how to be real with people, be kind, giving. I am not full of greed and take advantage of who I can. I work hard to have my own. Reason to why I made sure I let all my half-siblings know back then that the day our mother passes away. I don’t want anything from her estate. They can have it all, because I will not waste my time in a feud among them as everything they touch, turns to water.

13. BuzzFeed: You may have a very large (and perhaps complicated) family.

Well I only acknowledge my side, and I like that fact that I am an only child from the second marriage.

14. BuzzFeed: Although one weird thing is that your half-sib has a whole other family outside of you.

Yes, true. But I live here, they live there–no need to get acquainted.

15. BuzzFeed: If you’re the younger half-sibling, you had a moment growing up when you grasped the concept of half vs. whole siblings. And it was kind of confusing.

Yes. But when I was of age to understand my father sat me down early enough to understand this concept because he saw the fore coming rejections of my half-siblings who would never see me as any level of sibling then “the other child”. Sad, but you can’t change ignorant people sometimes.

16. BuzzFeed: At the end of the day, you’ll always think of your half-sibling as just your sibling. Because they are nothing less..

Wrong, at the end of it all–they made my life growing up miserable whenever I was around them. I was treated like the ugly duckling that they could care less to acknowledge and hated for being better then their own children in my honors in school and getting a degree while most of them never bothered or simply quit, just like them. They never bothered to know what kind of person I was, then to just keep trying to put me down and judging me as a teen. Therefore, they remain as always half-siblings.

Now…

While the 3 eldest half-siblings (2 boys, 1 female) have never made an effort to change. The youngest half-sister who is now in her early 50’s and being that our mother passed away almost 3 years ago. She has made an effort to be better “sibling” per say. But honestly while I appreciate that she admitted last year to have been jealous that I took her shine as the youngest of the family growing up in the same house hold for so long and is sorry for her horrific physical fights and drama with me. I have to honestly say, it’s a bit too late for that. While I do however accept it, she has tainted me of who she and her sibling really are, to ever have any trust in the kind of people they are.

Also, while the only thing that ties us are the bloodlines of our mother running through us. I have to say that they truly missed out on the relationship they could have had with me. But that’s their loss, and I moved on. And I will still be cordial to her for trying because well I just don’t see why I should lower myself to treating her how she and her siblings treated me when growing up. I know better then that because, “I don’t care if you don’t like me, I love me”.

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