Mind Over Matter–I Must do this.

(My first meal in my journey to a healthier me)

Since my last half marathon last year in October, I have put on even more weight… A LOT of weight. I believe I was 218 lbs. then and now a whopping 230 lbs. as of yesterday–when stepping on the scale.

While having the need to train for longer distance, my body became hungrier and I simply lost control. After letting my body recover from the half marathon, I simply stopped cold turkey and I guess I gave up too along the way. I know it’s because while training for the 13.1 run I just knew I would lose weight, but it never occurred to me to strictly watch my calories and “EAT CLEAN”.

Instead of eating clean meals or snacks after training to carb up for a bit of energy. My boyfriend (who also trained with me to run 13.1 last year) and I would head out to pick up a pizza–I know right. We have totally lost it since then, but more so I think I have lost myself in food. I love food, I enjoy food, but I also desire to be a healthy fit person. But it’s so hard! I feel pathetic everyday, when I read or follow fitness and clean eating accounts on social media to motivate me, and still eat what I want and not what I should. I’m a hypocrite!

So about 2 weeks ago, I thought to myself I can not bring myself to turn another year older and still look the same or in this case even “bigger”. I for one, love seeing my physician–but refuse to make appointment till I weight 218 or less. Most importantly, I want to live long for my daughter and loved ones. I rather die for being old then to a health issue that could have been prevented. And the fact that turning 35 is around the corner, I just have to make it happen–I’m not getting any younger. So as of June 1st, I have started again to focus on being healthier for weight-loss. I have set my first goal for October 1st to show myself, that I can do it and bring a happier and healthier me. I don’t know what kind of transformation I can do in 4 months, because I lack motivation. But I am willing not to quit anymore and make better choices of what I eat.

I love myself, but most of all I love my family…”Mind Over Matter”…I must do this.

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